Negative People will Always Criticize Some people criticize no matter what. It does not matter which side you are on, they are always on the other side. They have made a career out of criticizing. They are “career critics.” They criticize as if they will win a prize at a contest. They will find fault with every person and every situation. You will find people like this in every home, family, office. They go around finding fault and telling everybody how bad things are and blaming the whole world for their problems. We have a name for these people.
They are called energy suckers. They will go to the cafeteria and drown themselves in 20 cups of tea and coffee and smoke to their hearts’ content with one excuse: they are trying to relax. All
that they are doing is causing more tension for themselves and for others around them.
They spread negative messages like a plague and create an environment conducive to
negative results.
Robert Fulton invented the steamboat. On the banks of the Hudson River he was
displaying his new invention. The pessimists and the skeptics were gathered around to
observe. They commented that it would never start. Lo and behold, it did. As it made its
way down the river, the pessimists who said it would never go, started shouting that it
would never stop. What an attitude!
SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE
There was a hunter who bought a bird dog, the only one of its kind in the world. That
could walk on water . He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw this miracle. At the
same time, he was very pleased that he could show off his new acquisition to his friends.
He invited a friend to go duck hunting. After some time, they shot a few ducks and the
man ordered his dog to run and fetch the birds. All day-long, the dog ran on water and
kept fetching the birds. The owner was expecting a comment or a compliment about his
amazing dog, but never got one. As they were returning home, he asked his friend if he had noticed anything unusual about his dog. The friend replied, “Yes, in fact, I did notice
something unusual. Your dog can’t swim.”
Some people always look at the negative side. Who is pessimist? Pessimists
¨ are unhappy when they have no troubles to speak
¨ feel bad when they feel good, for fear they will feel worse when they feel better
¨ spend most of their life at complaint counters
¨ always turn out the lights to see how dark it is
¨ are always looking for cracks in the mirror of life
¨ stop sleeping in bed when they hear that more people die in bed than anywhere else
¨ cannot enjoy their health because they think they may be sick tomorrow
¨ not only expect the worst but make the worst of whatever happens
¨ don’t see the doughnut, only the hole
¨ believe that the sun shines only to cast shadows
¨ forget their blessings and count their troubles
¨ know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe “why take a chance?”
Who is an optimist? It is well described by the following:
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
Make all your friends feel there is something in them.
Look at the sunny side of everything.
Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give everyone a smile.
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.
Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.*
Step 2: Make a Habit of Doing It Now
We have all procrastinated at some time in our lives. I know I have, only to have
regretted it later. Procrastination leads to a negative attitude. The habit of procrastination
fatigues you more than the effort it takes to do it.
A completed task is fulfilling and energizing; an incomplete task drains energy like a leak
from a tank.
If you want to build and maintain a positive attitude, get into the habit of living in the
present and doing it now.
He slept beneath the moon
He basked beneath the sun
He lived a life of going to do
and died with nothing done.
–James Albery
When I Become a Big Boy
This is like the little boy who says when I become a big boy, I will do this and this and I
will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says, when I finish college and do this
and this and I will be happy. And when he finishes college he says when I get my first job
and do this and this I will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says when I get
married and do this and this and then I will be happy. And when he gets married he says
when the kids get out of school and I do this and this I will be I happy. And when the kids
get out of school, he says when I retire and do this and this, I will be happy. And when he
retires what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes.
* “Creed for Optimists” by Christian D. Larsen, in The Best of … Bits Pieces, Economics
Press, Fairfield, NJ, 1994, p. 3.
Some people practice procrastination by hiding behind high sounding words, saying “I’m
analyzing” and six months later they are still analyzing. What they don’t realize is that
they are suffering from a disease called, “Paralysis of Analysis” and they will never
succeed.
Then there is another breed of people who procrastinate by saying “I’m getting ready”
and a month later they are still getting ready and six months later they are still getting
ready. What they don’t realize is they are suffering from a disease called “Excusitis.”
They keep making excuses.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. I don’t care what philosophy you believe in–we have got
only one shot at this game called life. The stakes are too high. The stakes are the future
generations.
What time is it and where are we? The answer is now and we are here. Let’s make the
best of now and utilize the present to the fullest. The message is not that we don’t need
to plan for the future. The message is that we do need to plan for the future. If we utilize
our present to its fullest, we are sowing the seeds for a better future automatically, aren’t
we?
If you want to build a positive attitude, learn the phrase, “do it now” and stop the habit of
procrastination.
The saddest words in life are:
¨ “It might have been.”
¨ “I should have.”
¨ “I could have.”
¨ “I wish I had.”
¨ “If only I had given a little extra.”
Never leave till tomorrow which you can do today.
–Benjamin Franklin
I am sure all winners wanted to be procrastinators but never got around to it.
When people say, “I will do it one of these days,” you can be sure it means none of these
days.
Some people keep waiting for all lights to turn green before they leave home. That will
never happen and they fail even before they start. That is sad.
Stop procrastinating: Isn’t it time that we put off putting things off?
Step 3: Develop an Attitude of Gratitude
Count your blessings, not your troubles. Take time to smell the roses. It is not uncommon
to hear that someone, because of an accident or illness, became blind or paralyzed but
won a million dollars in settlement. How many of us would like to trade places with that
person? Not many. We are so focused on complaining about things we don’t have that
we lose sight of the things we have. There is a lot to be thankful for.
When I say count your blessings, not your troubles, the message is not to become
complacent. If complacence was the message you got, then I would be guilty of faulty
communication and you of selective listening.
To give you an example of selective listening, let me share with you a story I heard about
a medical doctor who was invited as a guest speaker to address a group of alcoholics.
He wanted to make a demonstration that would be powerful enough to make people
realize that alcohol was injurious to their health. He had two containers, one with pure
distilled water and one with pure alcohol. He put an earthworm into the distilled water and
it swam beautifully and came up to the top. He put another earthworm into the alcohol
and it disintegrated in front of everyone’s eyes. He wanted to prove that this was what
alcohol did to the insides of our body. He asked the group what the moral of the story
was and one person from behind said, “If you drink alcohol you won’t have worms in your
stomach.” Was that the message? Of course not. That was selective listening–we hear
what we want to hear and not what is being said.
Many of our blessings are hidden treasures–count your blessings and not your troubles.
Step 4: Get into a Continuous Education Program
Let’s get some myths out of the way. It is a general belief that we get educated in schools
and colleges. I run seminars in many different countries and ask my audiences all the
time, “Do we really get educated in schools and colleges?” Generally, there is a
consensus that some do but most don’t. We receive a lot of information in schools and
colleges. Don’t get me wrong. We do need information to be educated. But we need to
know the true meaning of education.
Intellectual education influences the head and values based education influences the
heart. In fact, education that does not train the heart can be dangerous. If we want to
build character in our offices, homes and society, we must achieve a minimum level of
moral and ethical literacy. Education that builds fundamental traits of character–such as
honesty, compassion, courage, persistence and responsibility–is absolutely essential.
We don’t need more academic education; we need more values education. I would stress
that a person who is morally educated will be a lot better equipped to move up in life or
succeed than a morally bankrupt person with excellent academic qualifications.
Character building and teaching values and ethics come in the formative years because
a child is not born with this knowledge.
Education Without Values
True education is training of both the head and the heart. An uneducated thief may steal
from the freight car but an educated one may steal the entire railroad.
Universities are turning out highly skilled barbarians because we don’t provide a
framework of values to young people, who more and more are searching for it.
–Steven Muller, President, Johns Hopkins University
We need to compete for knowledge and wisdom, not for grades. Knowledge is piling up
facts, wisdom is simplifying it. One could have good grades and a degree without
learning much. The most important thing one can learn is to “learn to learn.” People
confuse education with the ability to memorize facts. Education of the mind without
morals creates a menace to society.
